Faith in Starbucks

It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm sitting in Starbucks, my second office, and favorite "thinking place." I spend a lot of time here - working on sermons, catching up on correspondence, writing blogs. But more than anything, I come here and connect. This is where I go to leave my ivory tower and experience life. OK, it's not really an ivory tower, more like a 60's cinder block cube with bad paneling and worn carpet.

But I do come here to connect. This is where the people are. James, Jeremy, Natasha, Alan, Adrianna, and Christina are behind the counter talking about life. People from Fowler stop by my table and say hi. The mayor, Pastor Paul from the Presbyterian Church, Mary who collects cans, Sandie from my church, the UPS guy. People from all walks of life form a human parade, marching to a really bad reggae song playing too loudly through the speakers. In some crazy way these people are my friends. We're fellow members of the human race, loved by God and trying to find our way in life.

This afternoon I asked the partners (the people in the green aprons), "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?" I got a variety of answers, but two stood out. One response was, "Where am I in the universe? The other response was "How am I doing?" I think those two questions capture where most of us are in life. We want to know, we need to know, where we are and how we're doing in life. So we search.

We laugh, succeed, fail, flounder, cry, dance, pretend, grow, struggle. We live. And through it all, we wonder.

My cup is empty. Time for a refill.

Leader of the Band

I wrote these lyrics when our son was born. I remember holding him in my arms and wondering how in the world I would ever manage to be the father I'd need to be. (Apologies to Dan Folgelberg)

The Leader of the Band

I gaze into my son's eyes,
the tears begin to flow.
Fear and trepidation,
what will the future hold?

Joshua, the greatest gift
the Lord has placed in my hands.
My prayer is this, that I might be
like the Leader of the band.

I know that he will turn out right.
He'll grow to be a man,
if I can give to him the qualities
of the Leader of the band.

Honesty, integrity,
a pure and loving heart,
these my father gave me,
to my son I will impart.

I gaze into my son's eyes,
asmile comes to my mouth,
I had the finest teacher.
I know how he'll turn out.

My life has been a mere attempt
to imitate the man.
I'm just a living legacy
of the Leader of the band.

To Dad; Father's Day, 1985

Bingo!

Daniel in the lions' den. David facing Goliath. Me calling bingo at the seniors center. At some point you have to ask yourself, "What in the world am I doing here and will I survive this endeavor?"

I entered the amazing world of bingo last week when I called bingo for an hour at the Fowler Senior Center. It was fun, crazy, and surprisingly intense. When the pot for each game is a whopping $7, emotions can run high. For an hour one thought ran through my mind, "Screw this up and you're going to be mobbed by fifty little old ladies and angry old men." I think I'd rather face the lions and the giant.

I survived my ordeal and actually had fun. I'd probably be willing to do it again. But I was still faced with the question, "What in the world am I doing here?" That question was answered after the bingo ended and the seniors were leaving. When almost everyone was gone, a young man, about 25 years old approached me and asked, "Are you a pastor?" I nodded yes and he asked if he could speak with me.

We sat down and he proceeded to pour his heart to me. I listened to his troubled story of a life filled with drugs, violence, and abuse. To say his words were disturbing is an understatement.

Over and over he said, "I just want God to show me how to live my life." It was clear he was paralyzed with a fear of the future. The thought of living right for the rest of his life was overwhelming, guaranteeing defeat before he could even start to change.

Every once in a blue moon I come up with just the right insight. Trust me, it doesn't happen nearly as often as I wish it would. But in this instance I knew just what to say. I gently suggested that he stop asking God to help him with his future. This advice surprised him, he stopped speaking and just listened. And then, borrowing from my friends in recovery, I suggested he try asking God to help him just one day at time. I encouraged him to begin each day by asking God to just get him through that day.

I saw the light bulb light up in his eyes, as a smile came across his face. He got it. And I got it. I understood what in the world I was doing there. God is funny that way. He loves to set up divine appointments when we least expect it.